No, seriously. This isn't a zombie making a joke. I haven't written anything worth spitting at in a month or so, I haven't opened MS Paint for weeks, my reading and jewelry making and pretty much everything I do that takes mental effort but school has ground to a complete stop...but I'm alive. Barely.

And I'm tired. Oh, energy, where did you go?

At any rate, some people probably deserve an explanation. No, then again, nobody really deserves one, but you get to hear the reasons I've been semi-dead anyway.

1. A close elderly relative has been in and out of the hospital the past couple weeks with really, really bad medical problems, including aneurysms and a fracture in the spine. I'm very worried and it's putting a lot of stress on my family.

2. My dad. I'm not going to spill my guts crying about my family here, but I will say that my family is feeling less and less like a family all the time, and there's one person to blame. I don't know if he even knows he's doing it.

3. My eldest brother, online name Death, takes after my dad in the fact that he's domineering and has a superiority complex, but he's gotten so much worse. He doesn't leave me alone. It's beyond the normal sibling treatment. Arg.

4. Stress. This is, in general, a complaint. The stress from my relative's health problems and my dad's...being-himself-ness has made me lose what little sleep I used to get and when I do get to sleep, it's only for a couple minutes and I usually have a bloody, graphic, horrible nightmare that wakes me up. It's exhausting me badly to the point where sometimes I can barely stand up.

5. The stress has also been making me lose weight. Note to human body - this is really unhelpful when I'm trying to recover from an eating disorder. I just got my stomach to stop showing my ribs sticking out. Don't undo my progress, please.

6. My mom. She's been dealing with my dad for a lot longer than me, plus she's dealing with my relative's health problems. I'm so worried about her and I've been doing everything I can to try to help her. This is making me even more tired, and that worries her, as do my constant weight issues. If I don't help, she has to do all the work. If I do, she worries, so I worry about her in turn. Groan.

7. Teenage hormones. Yeah. They suck. Lately, they've decided to start giving me random panic attacks. Something mildly stressful that I could usually brush off, something so insignificant and pointless, will pop into my mind. Suddenly I'll start struggling to breathe, my eyes will fill with tears, and my head will start hurting. It's a fight to calm down and sometimes I'll get near fainting. Yeah, that really can't be good for me. >_>


So there you have it. Brb, going to go pass out or something.

Everyone who's waiting on me for some request or RP post or whatever, I really, really am sorry for how long it's taken. As soon as I can I'll get back to doing that sort of thing.

As a closing note, Hamlet was such a jerk, but he was so right some of the time.





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